Ok, let’s say you’re in a state that isn’t your home state. Just for example, say it’s New York State. And you’re on a major highway, say for argument’s sake The New York State Thruway. And you come to a toll plaza. At that toll plaza, you see 7 lanes that have green lights over them and long lineups, and one lane that has a flashing yellow light, and a sign that says “EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH” and a much smaller lineup. What do you do?
- a) Assume that “NO CASH” means it’s free, and everybody is lined up at those other places because they’re really concerned about the budget deficit in New York and the shocking state of our highways, so you go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
- b) Assume that just because you have no idea what “EASYPASS ONLY” means, it probably applies to you because you’re special, and go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
- c) Assume that although you have no idea what “EASYPASS ONLY” means, if you stop and honk your horn, somebody will come over and explain it to you, so you go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
- d) Assume that “EASYPASS” just means that it’s going to be easier to pass than the others, so go there.
- e) Assume that everybody lining up at the other booths are just incredibly stupid for passing right by this obviously shorter line to go to the longer lines. And hey, reading signs is what the stupid people do, not you.
- f) Go to the longer lineups.
If you answered anything but ‘f’, like the fuckwit with the Florida plates ahead of me yesterday (who chose option ‘c’), stay the fuck off of the New York State Thruway. Forever.
On second thoughts, go back home and stay there, forever.
Hey! When EZPass was new, I opted for answer e, once, too, on the spur of the moment; I was in a much longer line, next to the EZPass lane, and just impatiently jigged over without thinking. Until I got there. So I just went on.
They still haven’t caught me.
Oh, great. Another thing to obsess over at 3:00 AM.