Today in job requirements FAIL

I got a call from a recruiter asking if I had experience with “ETL”. I’d never heard of it, so I truthfully said no, I had no idea what it was, and she went away.

After the call, I looked it up. Evidently it stands for “Extract, Transfer and Load”. Isn’t that what 90% of computer programs do? Isn’t that what the programs I’ve written and maintained for the last god-knows-how-long to extract aviation data from various sources in various formats, transfer it into my own format (combining data from several different places into one semi-coherent whole, throwing away the data that doesn’t interest me), and load it into my database for future use does? Or when I took data from Island and RediQuote and massaged it so that it looked like what SunGard’s trading system was expecting so that SunGard UMA users could trade stocks on them? Or when I converted data from the SMPTE ShowPlayList schema and stored it into our database so we could schedule movies and disassemble and re-assemble our own concept of what a show schedule was?

So yeah, I think I understand the concepts behind “ETL”. But because I was honest to a recruiter, I’ll probably never get a job doing it when it’s called that. The problem with the whole job market is that it’s full of cases like that, where recruiters and HR departments have a checklist and are just looking for people with the right keywords on their resume. That’s why I hope that careers.stackoverflow.com and jobs.stackoverflow.com catch on with Rochester companies, or companies who understand that off-site doesn’t necessarily mean the sort of idiots you see on Rentacoder who think they can solve the Halting Problem for $500.

Oh, that’s worrisome

My colo server crashed last night. Nothing in the logs, no indication of why, it just hung up. A power cycle fixed it, but that’s the first time it’s crashed in so long I can’t remember how long it’s been. The last note about downtime I can find on my blog, from March 2007, wasn’t the fault of my box, it was a general problem with the hosting facility.

I hope the hardware isn’t crapping out after years of faithful service.

It’s not about the boat!

I was at the Huggers Ski Club “PaddlePower” end of season party, and a couple of us were discussing a person in the club who has absolutely *horrible* technique, and yet because she’s so awesomely fit, she manages to be the fastest woman paddler in the group at the Wednesday night time trials. I told the people I was talking to that this other person is way fitter than me, but she’s six minutes or more slower than me because she just horses herself along using her arms with no body rotation or core muscle involvement at all, and if she learned some technique she’d be scary fast. The people I was with scoffed and said it was all because I’m in a much faster boat. I couldn’t seem to make them understand that it was only the fact that I’ve spend literally tens if not hundreds of hours working on my technique with a coach or a video camera or just doing technique drills alone that I’m even able to keep a boat like that upright, never mind make it move efficiently through the water. And lets not forget that between the last time trail last season and the first time trial this season, I managed to improve my time by nearly three minutes, without changing boats.

I think next time trial season, I’m going to challenge them – the first one of them that manages to get into my Thunderbolt and paddle it around the time trail course without dumping gets $5, but if they dump they owe me $5. If they manage to better my best time in the Looksha, I’ll give them $25. I think I could get rich on that bet if anybody would take me up on it.

How not to make a payment system

A few weeks ago, I borrowed Dan’s truck for a trip to Whitby to pick up my dad’s power tools that he doesn’t have room for in his new house. On the way out, I saw a HUGE traffic jam on the 401 in the return direction, so I took the 407 Express Toll Road on the way home. I figured I’d just get the bill from Dan when it came, and pay it. Big mistake.

It turns out that there is absolutely no way to pay this bill without creating some sort of account profile for Dan. I’m not Dan, and I don’t want to create a profile for him. I don’t know him well enough to answer the security questions, for one thing. Plus while it’s unlikely that he is going to be a regular traveller on the 407, I don’t want to be the guardian of his account (ie. I know the PIN) if he does. There is also no way to enter the name on the credit card – if it’s not the same as the person named on the account, it isn’t going to work. There is no way to just send in a check or, if you don’t call from 9-5 on a weekday, to talk to a customer service rep. It seems to me that driving a borrowed car on the 407 should be something that the systems designers might have anticipated happening once in a while and designed in a method to resolve this short of making the owner of the car pay.

I guess in future I should either remember my 407 transponder, or just risk the traffic jams on the 401.

Dear Sprint

When I call you to report that I can’t receive phone calls in my own home, and you decide to call me back, it probably isn’t a good idea to call me back on my Sprint phone, since, you know, I can’t receive phone calls when I’m in my own home. Is this a hard concept to grasp?

When I call Sprint support, the voice mail menu cautions me not to call with my Sprint phone because it might be needed in other ways to diagnose the problem. So why can’t you figure out that simple fact yourselves?

Update: It gets better! As well as leaving me a voice mail (which I got when I went out to run an errand), they also sent me a text message that says to reply to the text message to let them know when they can call me. When I attempt to reply to the text message, it tells me that it’s not a valid phone number to text. “Your MSG could not be DELIVERED because Invalid Destination Account”. Yes, with the StupidCaps(tm) and the fractured syntax and all.

The message they sent
The message they sent

What happens if you reply
What happens if you reply