I’m a bad person.

At the entrance to the parking lot, where I walk past it every day on the way into work, there is one of those stupid safety banners. This one shows various body appendages going to various industrial smashy things, like gears etc. The tag line is “Never bypass a guard.”

My first inclination every day is to put another banner underneath it that says “Especially not Alice, she’s a bitch.” Alice is the security guard who sits by the door and glowers at you as you swipe your id card in the turnstyle. She’s probably not really a bitch, but she does have the most redundant job in the world.