Author: Paul Tomblin

Bloggers Block

I haven’t updated in a while. There are a couple of reasons for that. One is that I’m busier than shit – too much to do at work, too much to do regarding Maddy’s memorial. Another is that both of my kids appear to be in total melt-down mode – one is in hospital because of anorexia and the other seems to think “not getting caught” and “doing the right thing” are totally equivalent. Another is that my dad apparently found the blog and I’m a little freaked about that, but I’m coming to terms with it. I try very hard not to censor what I write here – it’s done more for self therapy than for anybody else’s consumption, and I’m quite likely to say stuff that I wouldn’t say to people’s faces (and then say the exact opposite in a subsequent entry – I’m nothing if not self-contradictory). So guess what, dad: If you don’t like what you see here, don’t read it.

How NOT to start your Monday

First thing: Clock radio isn’t working right. We’ve been on vacation, so we haven’t been using it. I remembered to turn it on, but evidently the tuning has drifted because all we hear is static. I attempted to retune it in my usual groggy state, but not very successfully. It apparently doesn’t want to recieve any radio stations this morning.

Second thing: Cable modem isn’t working. “Cable” light isn’t on. Wonder of wonders, though, when I call Time Warner they actually admit there is a problem. In the past, my history with Time Warner has been that I call to report a problem, and they say that nothing is wrong anywhere, so they schedule a service call about 4 or 5 days from now. An hour or two later, I call and there is a huge wait time on hold because everybody else in Rochester has discovered their cable modems aren’t working either, and when I finally get through this time they admit the problem, and I cancel the service call and then some time later the cable modem comes on.

Third thing: My badge doesn’t work in the turnstyle at work. Oh oh. I’m a contractor, and contractors live on a hair trigger anyway, especially since Kodak stock is plummetting. Could this be the long-feared layoff? Turns out no, it’s just some paperwork didn’t get done.

When I finally get into work, my home page loads so I know that the cable modem access at home has come back magically, so I log back in to find mail and news flowing. So things are looking up a bit.

Quick Quiz

Ok, let’s say you’re in a state that isn’t your home state. Just for example, say it’s New York State. And you’re on a major highway, say for argument’s sake The New York State Thruway. And you come to a toll plaza. At that toll plaza, you see 7 lanes that have green lights over them and long lineups, and one lane that has a flashing yellow light, and a sign that says “EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH” and a much smaller lineup. What do you do?

  • a) Assume that “NO CASH” means it’s free, and everybody is lined up at those other places because they’re really concerned about the budget deficit in New York and the shocking state of our highways, so you go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
  • b) Assume that just because you have no idea what “EASYPASS ONLY” means, it probably applies to you because you’re special, and go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
  • c) Assume that although you have no idea what “EASYPASS ONLY” means, if you stop and honk your horn, somebody will come over and explain it to you, so you go to the EASYPASS ONLY/NO CASH lane.
  • d) Assume that “EASYPASS” just means that it’s going to be easier to pass than the others, so go there.
  • e) Assume that everybody lining up at the other booths are just incredibly stupid for passing right by this obviously shorter line to go to the longer lines. And hey, reading signs is what the stupid people do, not you.
  • f) Go to the longer lineups.

If you answered anything but ‘f’, like the fuckwit with the Florida plates ahead of me yesterday (who chose option ‘c’), stay the fuck off of the New York State Thruway. Forever.

On second thoughts, go back home and stay there, forever.