I had a dream.

Or rather, I had two dreams. Last night. Which isn’t all that unusual – what is unusual is that I remember them this morning. Usually when I wake up in the morning, I try and remember my dreams but I can feel them slip out of my grasp like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. And as they’re slipping away completely, what spells the final doom is that Vicki tries to tell me what she dreamt about that night. I’m so incoherent in the morning that it’s a wonder I can find my way to the toilet some times.
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I’m a bad person.

At the entrance to the parking lot, where I walk past it every day on the way into work, there is one of those stupid safety banners. This one shows various body appendages going to various industrial smashy things, like gears etc. The tag line is “Never bypass a guard.”

My first inclination every day is to put another banner underneath it that says “Especially not Alice, she’s a bitch.” Alice is the security guard who sits by the door and glowers at you as you swipe your id card in the turnstyle. She’s probably not really a bitch, but she does have the most redundant job in the world.